What comes to mind when one thinks of the word “body image”? Images of thin girls looking forlornly into their bedroom mirrors? Others think of body positivity movements, like the Dove Real Beauty campaign. For many teenage girls, memories of negative body experiences are dragged to the forefront. According to Heart of Leadership, “More than 90 percent of girls – 15 to 17 years – want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance, with body weight ranking the highest.” These statistics, while frightening, are commonplace among high school girls. The Council on Size and Weight Discrimination claim that “80% of 10-year-old girls have dieted. 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly. Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.” Focusing on the self-esteem of high school girls is incredibly important, but just as important is the search for the root cause of low self-esteem.

For young girls ranging from 7-12 years old, there is a plethora of sources of negative body image that are frequently analyzed. Magazines with photoshopped models, advertisements showcasing the newest weight-loss miracle pill, and fat-shaming in sitcoms and other TV shows are all significant contributors. But one source of negative body image can come from the most surprising of places: friends and family. Is this surprising? Probably not––equating thinness with success is a societal construct. In the 1800s, extra body fat was considered a desirable trait. Diseases like tuberculosis resulted in people’s bodies wasting away. Thus, having body fat was the key to distinguishing the healthy, upper class from the rest of society. When the 1900’s rolled around and people became better fed, the upper class had no distinguishing trait, turning to thinness as an alternative.

How does this translate to young person’s self-esteem? In a society where one is conditioned to think that thinness is the sole trademark to success and happiness, people can unknowingly affect their children or students. It’s not necessarily their fault, but in order to build up the self-esteem of our children or younger persons in one’s life, it is vital to maintain a body-positive dialogue. Body-positive dialogue includes the idea that rather than educating a young child about the appearance of the body, people should educate children about what the body can do. The body is a machine that functions according to how one treats it. Focusing on how a body works instead of how it looks can educate a young child about how to love him or herself and how to stay healthy throughout life. Body-positive dialogue can also include adding phrases such as, “I am proud of myself”, “I can do this”, “I am a human being with worth”, et cetera to one’s life and cutting out negative phrases such as “I’m a failure”, “I can’t do this”, and “I’m worthless.” An important item to note is that this is not sugar-coating. It is confidence-building to an extent that it benefits other individuals in one’s life.

Another important aspect of body positive dialogue is educating children early about the importance of self-love, the prevalence of false images in the media, and how mental illnesses may stem from low self-esteem. The line between self-love and narcissism is larger than society thinks. Young children are taught to look “good” but to not say it, which can warp people’s perceptions of their appearance and the importance of that appearance. False images in the media––trashy magazines that highlight cellulite, photoshopped images in advertisements––can have the same devastating effect. Mental illness, such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, are seldom talked about in mainstream culture. By talking with children about these taboo subjects, one can prepare them for future contact with these conditions and how to  deal with them in a healthy way.

Body-positive dialogue is key in keeping young children healthy and happy. When interacting with young children, it is important to check the language one is using. What can harm the self-esteem of young children is projecting one’s negative feelings onto them. Commenting on a person’s weight fluctuations or how much or how little they are eating may seem harmless, but can place an unhealthy emphasis on appearance. Even commenting about perceived flaws can affect a child’s perception of his or her body. This passive aggressiveness can be detrimental to those developing and figuring out how exactly they fit (or don’t fit) into society. Comments such as, “You’re eating that much?” and “You’re so much skinnier than me!” can warp a young child’s perception of what is normal and “not normal” in regards to health and appearance.

In today’s media-centered world, negative body image is not hard to come by. Poor body image can be deadly; according to the Eating Disorder Coalition, “anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder, as high as twenty percent.” It is vital for people to be positive body role models and encourage self-love, so young children can eradicate negative thoughts about themselves. The most important endeavor of all is to educate children about what it means to truly be healthy.